Author Archives: Judah

Golden Lotus (or Jin Ping Mei)

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Golden Lotus or Jin Ping Mei (alternate romanizations include Chin P'ing Mei) is one of the classic novels of imperial China, along with, for instance, The Scholars, Three Kingdoms, Outlaws of the Marsh, Journey to the West, and A Dream of Red Mansions. Of all of them (possible exception The Scholars), it is the one you're least likely to encounter. It is banned in China for its erotic content (of which I will say more later), so modern translations do not abound. Work was underway in the late 90's on a new translation, but generally only the first few volumes are available. The others were either abandoned, or, if I remember the story right, the translator is very old and may not outlive the task. Just to finish the textual discussion, the version I read is a 1939 UK translation, which originally had the vulgar parts rendered in latin, but which has recently been unexpurgated by translating them back into English. I offer you no picture because amazon does not possess a copy of the edition I read. Look for it on eBay.

The elephant in the living room here is obviously the vulgarity issue: how filthy is it, what did they translate back into English, and so on. I'm going to disappoint you now — the vulgar parts are by far the most boring. Yes, there are some pretty ribald descriptions in there, depicting oral and anal sex, watersports, light bondage, sex toys, menages a trois, and so on. In fact, they're all basically in every chapter. But after the tenth description of sexual acts between Hsi-men Ch'ing (old romanization, but that's going to happen in 1939 translations. Try… Ximen Qing) and one of his many partners, it becomes, well, if I can borrow a line from family guy: it's like, she's naked, but who gives a shit? Maybe if you still have access to the really really juvenile parts of your psyche, you might think it's funny when someone wants to "tease the flower in her bottom," or when someone "was adept at playing the flute," but yeah, it's not going to be a non-stop thrill ride.

What you are likely to find more edifying is the description of the interaction between his six wives, their various maids and manservants, and the singing boys and girls that come to the house. As if… Raise the Red Lantern was a full 100 chapter novel instead of a novella. If you enjoy that kind of family politics, there is probably enough to get you through the rest of the book.

I can't, in good conscience, give this a great recommendation, though. The last 20+ chapters are extremely tedious, dealing with the eventual fates of virtually every member of the household, long after the principals are dead. It's as if the author knew people were going to speculate on what happened after the story, so he decided to record…

You know exactly what it is? It's the fucking Silmarillion. Even if you like Tolkein, reading it is like pounding nails into your dick. Now imagine that they tacked that on to the end of the Return of the King. It would make the whole novel worse, right?

That's what's happening here.

So read it, or, you know, don't. It took me a year. I could have read Dream of Red Mansions three times in that span.

[P.S. – I don't know if a better translation would make it more palatable, but volume 3 of the new version was published in 2006, so there is some chance it will be finished eventually. Maybe a follow up review in 5 years?]

Can You Forgive Her?

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Can You Forgive Her?
Can You Forgive Her?
Anthony Trollope

Can You Forgive Her?, despite its title, is the first of Trollope's six political or "Palliser" novels. It deals with the marriage prospects of a young woman of independent means, and her struggle as she wavers between two suitors–the upstanding but dull John Grey and the exciting but dangerous George Vavasor. It is also a great deal about securing political alliances and the difficulty in being returned for a seat in the House of Commons. And, hell, while I'm warning you, it runs a good 800 pages.

A lot of Victorian novels are about marrying well. A few of them are about the House of Commons. Either you find the subjects interesting or you don't, and for a long time, I stayed clear of English literature because, on average, I want to punch more than 80% of the characters in the face for not saying what they mean. If you've ever read, for instance, Thackeray's Vanity Fair, that was a face-punching extravaganza.

Most of the characters in this story, however, are sympathetic. You like Alice Vavasor (whom you are asked eponymously to forgive), and you like her cousin Kate, and you like Glencora Palliser and her husband, and you like Aunt Greenow and virtually everybody in her arc, and the only characters you don't like are the ones you are supposed to dislike.

As for the writing itself, Trollope talks to his readers and references what he wrote earlier in a way that would make John Barth proud, and in particular, I like his habit of guessing what else the characters might have done that day, as if he hadn't seen it or had no definite knowledge of it. I suppose it makes for inconsistent narration, since at times he knows what a character is thinking and at times he cannot account for their actions, but hell, it's cute. There are a couple of long passages about hunting, which may not be for everyone, but which, according to the introduction, were Trollope's favorite passages to write, so I think we can forgive him that.

The trouble, of course, is that there are five more novels in the series. I got a lot of reading in the last month, and it tool me the entire month of December to get through this. It could conceivably be another whole year of Trollope for me, even if I stop at the end of the Pallisers and ignore the other entire series of novels he wrote. I have already ordered Phineas Finn, and will probably begin it this week.

Anyway, great book, probably deserves more acclaim that it (or Trollope in general) usually gets, worth putting on your bookshelf. The end.

What I am enjoying on the Monday afternoon before (American) Thanksgiving

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Last night, I was packing up my room, and I reached for a CD to put on more or less at random, and I hit on The Weakerthans album Reconstruction Site. I picked it up some time ago, surprised that there was a third Weakerthans record, and I listened to it once, and I thought to myself, “Yep, this is the Weakerthans,” but really, it’s a better album than that, and it deserves to be mentioned on its own.

The problem for me is that the Weakerthans isn’t a band I went out and discovered on my own. Fallow was a birthday present in 2001 from a very special girl, and for me, the Weakerthans have always been associated with her in my mind. Nevermind that I love Fallow and Left and Leaving in their own right, they just aren’t a Judah band. They will probably always be at least half K in my mind, and after we stopped seeing each other, I stopped following them. I don’t know where I got the impression that they had stopped making music, but eventually I did find Reconstruction Site and pick it up.

I imagine that they aren’t for everyone. They’re very polished, like a Teenage Fanclub, and not particularly edgy on first listen, so there are a lot of people I just wouldn’t recommend them to. But I also can’t really imagine anyone listening to an album carefully and at the end, deciding that they just don’t like them. There’s just too much substance to dismiss.

QotD: I Rock The Mic

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What song makes you rock the karaoke mic?
Submitted by Ann.

I don't actually rock the karaoke mic that often, although I am at karaoke about once a month for reasons which are my own. However, the two times I rocked the karaoke mic, it was to a beloved 80's song from my childhood. One the first occasion, I rocked it to Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded Me With Science," and the second time to Cyndi Lauper's version of "Money Changes Everything." That second one was kind of a vocal stretch, though. Other songs I have considered singing are Scandal's "Goodbye To You" (Which only a very few KJs have) and Madness's "Our House."

I have, however, seen some very poor Karaoke choices made.